Me, As a Goth?…

This came up the other night while some friends and I were emailing each other and appreciating Jill Tracy’s music. I don’t remember what the actual segue was, but my boyfriend and I started talking about how I’d just missed the whole Goth thing — it was just starting at my school when I was released from it, having paid my debt to society.

I suppose in a lot of ways I would have fit right in. I’m the palest person you’ll ever meet (step aside, Nicole Kidman, and nice try), and one of the most overtly hostile, although most of the Goths I’ve met since then — you get a lot of ’em in bookstore work — were much more passive than pissy. I have a chip on my shoulder roughly the size of Pike’s Peak, and after years of other people trying to squish me into the role of Doormat, I rebelled mightily and haven’t really been pushed around since.

I wear a lot of black, too. Sue me. Red hair and pale skin = lots of black clothes, although it’s a pain in the ass to keep them up when you take in a mostly-white cat. I even have the obligatory almost-black lipsticks, reds and purples so deep you’d expect only Mina or Lucy to wear them. I used to work in cosmetics;ย I got a sweet discount. I trot these out every now and then, too — I wore the dark-blood shade of red to a Velvet Revolver concert and fit right in, despite being older than most of the crowd.

I would have hated the music, though. All that Ministry and other unlistenable crap? I even get tired of NiN sometimes, although I could easily listen to “Head Like a Hole” forty times when I cue it up. I would have been the only Goth in the crowd listening to the Eagles, Jimmy Buffett, Tom Petty, Bonnie Raitt… All my soundtracks might or might not have fit the mold. I could have snuck “The Shawshank Redemption” past the music police, but I don’t think “An Inconvenient Truth” would have gone over so well.

Other stuff would’ve got me kicked out of the club too. I’m a huge college football fan (there’s an orange lipstick, the exact shade of my team’s color, right next to the dark purple one); I run; I watch “American Idol,” for God’s sake.

And the kicker: I refuse to smoke.

Still, it’s nice to see what might have been.

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12 Responses to “Me, As a Goth?…”

  1. Bunny Dixonjugs Is Daners' Bond Girl Name Says:

    American Idol for sure would have for sure gotten you banned from the Goth club.

    Bonnie Raitt is hotness

  2. My bff to this day is a huge goth. When I met her in college, she calls it her “taking time off” era. She had allowed her natural hair to bleed through the black hair dye. She is into industrial music, the big clunky I’m gonna kill you if you screw with me boots, all that. She’s a clinical pharmacist.

    Lab coat, purple hair.

    It kind of fits actually.

  3. OK, I left a comment before but it got eaten. I was saying that you were going to have to dye your hair black to be a successful goth.

  4. I used to love the goths in high school, but only the ones that actually put some sophisticated effort into it. There was a lesser group of goths (sloppy) and an elite group of goths who also listened to Morrissey. I thought the latter group was cool beans.

    Bonnie Raitt is the hotness.

    So is “‘Head Like A Hole”.

    Trent Reznor was the hotness. Okay, no he wasn’t.

  5. tigereye Says:

    Bonnie Raitt does rule. I hope I look like her when I’m her age — I already have the hair…

  6. Hehehe You’re too proud of that red hair to ever be Goth.

  7. pandemonic Says:

    I used to have red hair… *sigh* Garnier #56. Those were the days.

  8. tigereye Says:

    I don’t think there’s a name for my color. Maybe “Las Vegas Sunset.”

    Since I got a job and don’t have to interview anymore I’m considering going purple.

  9. TheOtherIvy Says:

    Purple? Will there be photos? A thoughtful reminiscence of the Goth who might have been. I think any group that has a recognizable wardrobe and soundtrack requires a level of conformity that some of us can’t abide. I did dye my hair black way back when and Dead can Dance likely qualify as some kind of retro Goth. I am easing into eccentric, I think that category is vague enough to sustain.

  10. I did spray purple a few months ago–the silver hair really picks it up nicely. I had a friend for 40 years who was a hardcore Baptist vampire freak. . .Anyone who limits the expression of facets of their personality, music, or friends because of labels is, imho, just a fool. ๐Ÿ™‚

  11. fleurdelulu Says:

    As a former Goth (who wishes she could still get away with it), I think you could have fit right in. My hair wa never black (purple mostly), I didn’t smoke, and didn’t care much for Ministry. Jimmy Buffet and Simon and Garfunkle were in my walkman as often as The Cure and Siouxsie were (though Depeche Mode was my favorite).

    Bet I could give you a run for your money on paleness ๐Ÿ˜‰

  12. fleurdelulu Says:

    P.S. I LOVE football!

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