World’s Meanest Feline Bodyguard

Have I mentioned that Spike is a bit aggressive?

Well, if I haven’t, he is. As I type this, my right hand looks like I stuck it down a garbage disposal without turning off the blades first. This is courtesy of Spike after I committed some real or imagined slight last night — possibly coming home from work at 5:30 instead of being home at 4 to feed him at the usual time. It hardly matters. I’ll be right in the middle of petting the little hellion when he’ll attack me with teeth and all three sets of claws, which, I should remind myself, need clipping.

Every now and then I’m the recipient of a Spike kindness, though.

Like every time I get in the shower.

Spike is a rare cat: he likes water. He used to hop into the shower with me at my old apartment, at least once every couple of months, and he’d stand there preening while the drain became white with shed fur. But at my house, the water pressure (along with everything else) is a vast improvement over the apartment, and the drumming/raining noise of the shower makes him too nervous to get in. Which is just as well. You try shaving your legs when a cat keeps butting them with his head. I should have scars on my calves that pass, in some countries, for tribal tattoos.

So here, Spike will often stand guard in the bathroom while I’m in the shower, and when I yank back the curtain, he’ll come up to the edge of the tub and lean on it. The first time he did this, I said, “Well, that’s sweet of you,” and leaned down to him, and he gave me a nose-to-nose kiss.

Yes, really.

He does it all the time now — not every day, because he’s often got more important things to do than make sure the shower doesn’t kill me, but at least once or twice a week I get a little dose of a mean, mean cat’s affection.

Sometimes it’s very hard to stay mad at him, even when the back of your hand is plastered with band-aids.

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15 Responses to “World’s Meanest Feline Bodyguard”

  1. I feel for you. I really do. What is it about these little hellions that keeps us accepting their abuse? Hitch has been getting really obnoxious with his need for attention and I’ve almost gotten injured several times recently. Yet, I find myself gazing into his baby blues as he sits on my chest, impeding my breathing, and getting all mushy about loving him.

  2. jojovtx1800 Says:

    Cats are into S&M, they are the dominant one in the relationship, first they abuse you, then they allow you a bit of love, it is their way of maintaining control.

  3. You never know when the shower might kill you.

  4. Having only had dogs, it is somewhat heartwarming to learn that a cat will give a nose to nose kiss.

  5. Shiloh would never get in the water, but he sat on the mat by the bath or shower every day for fourteen years, looking at me like … What the heck did you do? It’s all over you! Sometimes I still catch myself stepping over him getting out of the shower.
    Makes the little monsters a lot easier to put up with. 😉

    Sue2, some cats are big on nose to nose kisses.

  6. I think he blames the shower for my lack of fur.

    Anyone who makes with the obvious joke here is gonna get smacked…

  7. The main place Spike stands guard in is the kitchen, however.

  8. One of my male cats waits anxiously outside the shower and as soon as I step out he jumps in and licks the water out of the tub. It’s weird.

  9. TheOtherIvy Says:

    What a wonderfully gentle moment, the nose to nose, from such a hellion.

  10. Ivy, it really is — that’s why I’m so charmed by it. John is always surprised that I’ll put my face that close to Spike.

  11. pandemonic Says:

    My daughter’s last cat would wait in the bathroom while she got ready for school. He followed her everywhere. We’d never see him though.

  12. thirdculturemom Says:

    Re: the murderous shower–maybe you let him watch Psycho when he was a wee kitten? That can affect a developing mind’s view of showers for some time.

  13. Hmm — I didn’t know him as a kitten, but from what I was told of his shuffled-around early life, Psycho isn’t out of the question.

  14. That’s amazing he’d jump in the shower with you. The best I’ve gotten is a cat that would sit on the edge of the tub when I would take a shower. Or she would just come in the bathroom and hang out when I showered. And while I would be hard pressed to call any of my cats, past or present mean, I do have a rabbit who has attacked me on numerous occasions, but now enjoys joining me in the his litter box in the bathroom while I use the toilet. Weird, eh?

  15. If I had a bigger bathroom, I’d probably move Spike’s box in there as well. I mean, function over form, right?

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