I really need to get on this, because I only have 3 weeks left.

I’ve never had any difficulty choosing a candidate before, so this year has really backed me into an uncomfortable corner. Either there’s just been one guy available, like Mondale (and while I was too young to vote, believe me, I was a nerdy kid: I was Involved, whether I could vote or not), or my guy got pushed aside early on, like Gore in ’88, or I first saw Bill Clinton and fell head over heels in love with him as a candidate. There have never been so many decent possibilities that I’ve had trouble coming up with a favorite.

Until now.

The problem is, I develop relationships with people I’ve never met, and politicians are no different from, say, Anne Lamott or Peyton Manning or Bruce Springsteen. They live inside my head now, so I’ve had to make space and get comfortable with them. Like Hillary Clinton, for example: I think she’s great. (She’s also one of the few people living inside my head whom I’ve met.) I thought she was a marvelous First Lady and she was easily the first candidate I liked and wanted to work for.

And then came Barack Obama, the coolest man in politics. His 2004 DNC speech knocked me over. I felt like Bobby Kennedy had come back to this world. Here was an eloquent, thoughtful, brilliant and charming guy, and before long I made a still-sort-of-anguished decision to switch over to him as Choice #1.

So I’ve been with Obama since he announced he was running, which was, what, LAST January or February? By now it seems like a hundred years ago. I still feel guilty when I see Hillary Clinton. I still think she’s terrific, but now if I were her and I sat down beside her in the cafeteria, I’d get up and move, silent and dignified.

And then…

I had sort of written John Edwards off, although in 2004 he was The Man. Living next door to his home state, I’d first seen him in his commercials, and I liked his positivity, which is something no reasonable person expects me to like. I thought Kerry was sharp to pick him up: he was better spoken, more personable, thought fast on his feet…. And then they lost. Probably with some help from Diebold. Not that I’m bitter.

See, Edwards has recently…well…won me back.

(Barack, I’m sorry! I really am! Damn it, now he’s going to sit with Hillary. And they’re going to talk about me. I just know it.)

Here’s the thing. I am, unfortunately, no stranger to a grudge, and I loathe the insurance industry and the oil barons and the Wall Street/Merrill Lynch/Enron rich with the same passion I use to cheer on my football team, just reversed. I have no insurance. It sucks worse than any other situation I’ve ever found myself in. It’s not like I take a dozen medications for fun, but I can’t afford them in the doses that work best anymore. And I resent the holy bleeding hell out of every single person who’s ever helped dig this country into the elitist hole we’re in over insurance.

John Edwards grew up fifteen minutes from where I grew up, and his parents had the same kind of jobs my family did, until the mills closed and went to China and the utterly loaded bastards than own them could write the move off on their taxes. Edwards started out poor. That means a lot to me.

And now he seems to have discovered he has a couple of the same chips on his shoulder that I do. I think they were eroded down to pebbles when he discovered them again, but that’s OK: I can appreciate anyone with class anger, too. I’ve had it all my life. It’s not a healthy thing to carry about, but it does help you stay focused.

So I’m on Door, or Candidate, #3, which is totally unheard of for me.

I hope the folks in Iowa get it right, because I’m having a little trouble right now.


15 Responses to “Undecided…”

  1. You’re not alone. I think a lot of people remain undecided.
    Thank you for sharing your honest opinions and clear thoughts on this.

    I’m not sure if it will help you (or serve to further confuse you) but you may want to see what is the latest from a God perspective on the candidates and what’s going on in Iowa. We share some thoughts in the blog on the Iowa caucus and candidates. Whatever you vote, feel at peace.

  2. I like Kucinich.

  3. That’s it. We all have to move to Canada. Huckabee won the Republicans. By the time they finish rigging the voting machines and all the other cheating they do we may well get stuck with him. I’d always said no one could be worse than Bush. Now I’m not so sure. Huckabee very well could be.

  4. I’m with you.

  5. I’m with you on Edwards, but I don’t think he stands a chance.

    Hey there, bigcocky.

  6. Well, now that Hillary is standing there, ass in hand….

    I was undecided for a long time too. Now I think I’m pretty committed to Obama. I was also pleasantly surprised by Edwards’ speech last night, it kinda rekindled my devotion to him.

    I’m somewhat less impressed with Hillary these days. Would an Obama/Edwards ticket be so crazy? Am I crazy?

  7. your stsory sounds similar to mine. i have settled on Edwards, though would also vote for Obama. i too like the idea of joint ticket with thesee two, but i’m not sure it’s politically feasible – though it would crush the repubs.

  8. Hi. I’ll be back when you’re done being political.

    First football, now this.

  9. pandemonic Says:

    It’s a tough decision. I can’t make up my mind either.

  10. We have to put our own preferences aside and look at who’s able to beat the republican candidate. I like both Hillary Clinton and Obama, but I don’t think either could be a white bread republican male. There’s too much racial and sexual prejudice for that to happen. That leaves us with Edwards, and I think he could probably beat whoever the republicans run. It would be an awesome ticket to me, Edwards with Obama as VP. I don’t think Hillary Clinton would go for the VP slot, I think she’d go back to the Senate rather than be #2. But that ‘s just me 🙂

  11. This is getting very interesting.
    If anyone is interested in viewing commentary on the political process-New Hampshire primary next, from a spiritual God perspective, please visit goodglinggod at wordpress.

    We welcome your questions there also. Our definitive prediction of both Obama and Huckabee winning Iowa, written hours before the caucus began in Iowa, is documented there as well as clear reasons why certain candidates were doing well and not so well; other insights are there as well.

    There is also an entry written after Iowa in terms of ‘what’s next’ and what moves one democratic candidate, will make next. We’ll write something before the primary begins on Jan. 7th. We welcome your comments.

    All the best,


  12. Vicky, Mr. Rizzuto feels the same way. About the beatability issue I mean. Is that a word? I think I just made up a word.

  13. the real beatability problem for hillary is that she engenders way too much energy on the right, and that’s a problem for her/ us/ me. that leaves edwards and obama, and should they pair up on the ticket, everybody get out of the way.

  14. I think an Edwards/Obama or an Obama/Edwards or a Clinton/either one would work, but like I said, I’m biased. And still dithering. I’ve got a couple more weeks to dither, but I thought Edwards had a great debate last night — he was good enough to keep me clicking back and forth from the Steelers/Jaguars game to the debate.

  15. Hey I’m curious did you get my email?

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