What Goes On in My Head: Snapshots

I’ll be playing spider solitaire with two suits, and I’ll stare and stare at the screen until there are afterimages of the cards burned into my eyes, and there won’t be a single available move. Then I’ll deal the next row, and I’ll see a move I should’ve made, just as it’s made inaccessible by the new row.

This is a pretty apt metaphor for my whole life, actually.

I’ve also had a few cases of I’m-a-bad-friend lately, which always bothers me more than most neuroses because I sometimes pride myself on being a good friend. This is different, though, from the missed-move frustration. This feels like being kept humble. I get kept humble a lot. Maybe more than I ought to. I’m reasonably humble about most things without any karmic help.

I haven’t sent out any Christmas cards yet because I don’t want to go to the post office. And also because I send cards to practically everyone I’ve ever met, the addresses are scattered among three or four address books accumulated over about ten years, and I don’t know where a single one of them is right now.

A friend left town six weeks ago owing me a surprising amount of money. She didn’t leave a forwarding address.

I filled out a job application today and couldn’t think of one marketable skill I have. I also don’t have sufficient computer experience for much of anything. I’m hoping I can wow someone in an interview so this will be overlooked.

I ran for the first time since my birthday yesterday. It’s not quite been two months, but my body seems to have aged an entire year’s worth in that time.

I honestly don’t know sometimes if Spike likes my company.

I’m worried my football team will lose their bowl game and then I’ll spend New Year’s Day feeling terrible for a bunch of college kids I’ve never met.

I have to, have to, have to do laundry today. I am out of socks.

I am aware and ashamed of what silly petty problems these are in comparison to what other people I love are dealing with.

I am evidently going to have teenage acne well into my forties. This is a good example of silly and petty, and also a good example of annoying.

I don’t know why the caulk won’t last on my shower.

Twice now, when randomly scrolling through iTunes, I’ve landed on “Here’s a Quarter, Call Someone Who Cares.”

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19 Responses to “What Goes On in My Head: Snapshots”

  1. At least your shower works.

    Hmmm. Maybe mine works now too. Maybe when I get home there will be blinds up in the bathroom. Maybe. I rather doubt it will work that way. I’ve abandoned all hope.

  2. Bobby, I did warn you.

    tigereye, life is made up of little stuff–it’s hardly surprising that they get the best of us sometimes. Left foot, right foot, breathe. Because there’s also the moment when you go, “WHY do I play this game…” and then all the cards fly away and you’ve won.

  3. thelittlefluffycat is brilliant: and then all the cards fly away and you’ve won.

  4. You know what I like about this light text on a dark background? Boldface looks cheerful instead of emphatic and a bit scary.

  5. How about “call 1-800-BOO-HOO and ask for extension WAH WAH”?

  6. TheOtherIvy Says:

    You can have a pair of my socks if you can find them.

  7. Sometimes life gangs up on you. If you can fuss about it a little, it’s easier to deal with.

    Fuss away. 😉

  8. Great, now I’m mentally logging my own list of minor tragedies and regrets. Let’s go have a beer.

  9. Take my socks. I don’t use them.

  10. Touch my socks and die.

  11. Well, not really–but I do use them. You can have the ones I don’t use. 🙂

  12. I like the way the word ‘argyle’ can precede the word ‘socks’. It makes me laugh. I think the coffee is starting to work. I’m starting to feel awake if not coherent.

  13. I’m giggling like crazy.

    We have medicine for most of this, you know.

  14. In a weird way, this was like taking all the trash out of my head and setting it on fire. Write it down, it goes away. I don’t think I thought about any of it today, except the laundry and the shower.
    Thanks for all the socks. I can always use more socks. And I also really liked “all the cards fly away and you’ve won.”

  15. I think I have your problem. Have we been separated at birth?

  16. That’s very possible, except you’ll be the skinnier twin.

  17. Not having any marketable job skills totally sucks ass. I should know; I have the same problem. I’m always like … well… I can …. uhhhhhh … I can ….. welll …. I’m really good at having a neurotic crisis.

    Can I get paid for that?

    Not so far.

  18. If I could just find out where hit men go to train for jobs, I’d be set. I wonder if the Irish Mob has a health care plan?

  19. antimother Says:

    There has to be a market somewhere for smartass. I’m looking for it too and will let you know if I find it.

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